I’m usually very organized, but for some reason, I’m all over the place right now juggling work and preparing for my trip on Thursday. But I had to take a few moments to share some quick thoughts on some adoptee-related news: Continue reading “Writing on the Go: Reactions”
It’s been months since I booked my ticket to Seoul for late May and only now is it finally starting to feel somewhat real. I’m in almost daily contact with my hosts, a Korean-American adoptee (Tim) who I have known for more than ten years now, and his Korean wife and their young son. Because of their generosity as my hosts, I am able to make this trip to my birth country, exactly ten years from when I left Korea after living there for five years in my 20s. Continue reading “South Korea – May 2017: Packing and Planning”
When I was in second grade, I went through a mini identity crisis. For reasons I can’t really remember (I was probably bored and wanted to seem unique), I decided to use my Korean birth name on all my school papers. Of course everyone at school, including my teacher, knew me as Jodi, but for some reason, I wanted people to start knowing me as Soh Young (or Lee Soh Young / 이소영 to be exact). And so for a couple months, that was what I did. I used my Korean name on all my school papers and temporarily went by the first name of Soh Young. Kind of dorky, I know. But for some reason, it seemed important to me at the time.
It didn’t last long. Continue reading “Living with two names: reclaiming birth identities”
Even as a Korean adoptee myself, I find it impossible to put into words the urgency many fellow adoptees have to personally learn more about their origins. In some ways, it’s a kind of desperation, a feeling of incompleteness so many people in this world take for granted. And while my own curiosity about the early months of my life has not yet transformed into a need to know where I came from (although I am curious), I am still all too familiar with the complexities involved in not knowing. It’s a strange feeling. And while I understand the importance the search for answers represents for many, I was not prepared for a particular Facebook page I stumbled across dedicated to Korean adoptees searching for their birth families.
Bombarded, one after another, with images of Korean babies and children from the ’60s and onward, combined with sometimes desperate pleas for help in finding biological family, I was not prepared for the emotional magnitude that accompanied this public Facebook group. As I read story after story, and viewed photo after photo, the only expressions that came to my mind were vulgarities of disbelief, “Holy shit.” “Jesus Christ.” “What the fuck?” The sadness I felt was completely unexpected.
I’m resurrecting this blog.
Embarrassingly, two years after I started this, a lot has happened. Not all of it ideal. And those less-than-ideal moments became obstacles in my creative life. The “journey” was temporarily suspended as I worked to figure out some hard core “adulting” issues. (Work-life balance, financial planning, housing and work stability, relationship lessons, and planning for the future…)
But things are good now. In fact, personally, life has taken a drastic turn in the right direction, and I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon for the most part. And for that, I am so, so grateful.
Also, since I last updated this blog years ago, something big has happened in my life. I now have in my possession a two-way ticket to South Korea—my birth country. Continue reading “Spring 2017”