A Facebook Group for the Missing

Even as a Korean adoptee myself, I find it impossible to put into words the urgency many fellow adoptees have to personally learn more about their origins. In some ways, it’s a kind of desperation, a feeling of incompleteness so many people in this world take for granted. And while my own curiosity about the early months of my life has not yet transformed into a need to know where I came from (although I am curious), I am still all too familiar with the complexities involved in not knowing. It’s a strange feeling. And while I understand the importance the search for answers represents for many, I was not prepared for a particular Facebook page I stumbled across dedicated to Korean adoptees searching for their birth families.

Bombarded, one after another, with images of Korean babies and children from the ’60s and onward, combined with sometimes desperate pleas for help in finding biological family, I was not prepared for the emotional magnitude that accompanied this public Facebook group. As I read story after story, and viewed photo after photo, the only expressions that came to my mind were vulgarities of disbelief, “Holy shit.” “Jesus Christ.” “What the fuck?” The sadness I felt was completely unexpected.

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It’s like a Facebook page for the missing. And in a way, I guess that is exactly what it is.

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People missing biological parents and siblings. People missing information about their earliest days, months, years. People missing answers to questions no one, despite their best intentions, have been able to answer for them their entire lives. Yes, that is exactly what this Facebook page is—a group for the missing.

I won’t post my personal story (the very little I know about my earliest months) to this group just yet, but I know some people who might, and I will share it with them, and I will share it here as well. May these people find answers. May they find comfort. May they find peace, for if you can imagine living life not knowing anything about where you came from, and in some cases realizing time is running out, then you can somewhat understand the desperation some people on this Facebook page are dealing with. Sometimes all people need is closure. I hope they find it.

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